carol-simplesoutherngirl

Today I discovered my niece is listed as married. I experienced again the pain of alienation. I escalated into the point of hysteria and sense of abandonment that goes with being cut from the herd. I might die. But I won't. I will continue with a little help from my friends. Lost my cell and continued to feel increasingly isolated even though I'm not. Called someone on email list for the first time. I need to eat.

hydrangea

                                                                             
  Last year Spike encouraged me to blog so I am.
This hydrangea reminds me of the large bush that grew next to the front porch of my grandparents house. Those flowers were completely blue. Sometimes I would use one for a bouquet. It visually screened us from the large vacant lot next door. My grandfather kept the lawn mowed and I played croquet with older cousins in the large space.  They lived diagonally across the street from my grandparents in the urban neighborhood of two story homes built in the twenties.

The mother of the two female cousins was my mother's only living sister. They were eight and ten years older than I. My mother and I lived with her parents because my father was in World War II dropping bombs over Europe and taking part in the invasion of North Africa. I did not realize that until later. It was the only home I knew for my first three years,